On the Rooftop
by IxLovexGreen
Summary: It wasn't something out of the ordinary that Helen Magnus missed dinner. It happened more often than any of them would have liked.


**disclaimer:** I don't own anything... I wish.

_This is for Carly. She was my muse and inspiration for this (also, you kicked my ass into finishing it already). Thank you for all your imput and encouragement. Love you, my friend._

**On the Rooftop**

It wasn't something out of the ordinary that Helen Magnus missed dinner. It happened more often than any of them would have liked. But when Will asked the others where or when they'd seen her last he couldn't help but start to worry. It had been hours since Henry had last seen her in her office.

"What was she working on?" Will wanted to know.

To his surprise, Henry just shrugged. "Nothing, really. She just seemed to be staring at her screen. I don't think she even noticed me coming in."

"And that didn't strike you as odd, Henry?" Will demanded to know, but he didn't choose to wait for an answer. He just left the kitchen to head directly into Magnus' office, which he found empty. His next thought was to check the lab. Maybe she'd had a specific idea, realization or something other than that? But aside from her medical instruments, the room was empty as well.

Then it suddenly hit him. When Helen Magnus needed time to reflect, to analyse, to clear her thoughts, then she was always to be found in the same place. Although he couldn't deny that having her up on the roof of the Sanctuary worried him. A lot. Not necessarily because heights bothered him as much as they did, but she had just lost her daughter. The loss of Ashley was hard on all of them, but just imagining her pain was beyond him. So he was more running than walking up the stairs to the roof.

When he had reached the top he immediately felt the cold wind against his face,tugging at his clothes. Will was planning to keep moving so he wouldn't get too cold, but he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight before his eyes, utterly speechless. Finally, in shocked tones, he managed to utter, "Magnus, what the hell are you doing?"

He had seen her like this before, standing on top of the balustrade in the wind. High above the ground, too high for his liking. But she was standing at the edge and even leaning over it. At least, Will thought, she was still holding onto the wall for some safety. Yet it just looked like she was about to do something really stupid. After all he knew people have done worse for less traumatic reasons. Last time they'd been together up here he'd made a joke. Told her not to do it because she had so much to live for and still so much time left.

Little did he know how much at that time.

He watched her for several seconds. She didn't show any reaction at all. Not to his call, not to his presence, she didn't even move. She was like a statue of one of ancient Greek Goddesses. For a while he just wasn't sure what to do. For all he knew she hadn't noticed his presence at all, although it seemed unlikely to him. Slowly he started to walk up to her although it took quite some strength to force himself closer to the balustrade. He despised heights, but of course he had to make sure Magnus was safe before he could allow himself to leave this roof. A little reluctantly he climbed onto the balustrade in close proximity to Helen. Will desperately tried not to look down and faced Magnus instead, who was still unmoving. He watched her, very closely, searched for any reaction on her features, any hint in her eyes that might indicate her next step, but there was nothing. She was frozen on her spot in the cold. "Magnus...", he tried again, but for once he really had no idea what to say. Will didn't even know what he expected her to do, but he knew she just had to at least notice him.

When she still wouldn't react to his presence in any way he chose to change his strategy. If he'd had one in the first place. He carefully, step by step, moved a little closer to her, but still avoiding to invade her personal space. "Helen...", he started again, it was more like a plea. Will didn't think he'd ever used her first name before.

Will didn't expect her to react to him, but when she slowly turned her head a little to face him it was like he was relieved from a stone heavy burden almost causing him to actually lose his balance. "Helen, what are you doing?" he asked softly, without any pressure or judgement.

Helen watched Will for several seconds. She had heard him very well the first time he'd called out for her, but what point was there to react? She didn't want to talk which is why she was alone up here thinking about her daughter, and the absence of her, which tore her heart apart and crushed her in a way she had no words for. By now she hadn't expected him to be still present, but to her surprise he hadn't given up, had even climbed the balustrade for her. But only the use of her first name made her turn. She would never admit it, barely to herself, but she longed for a friend she could count on. Who would understand her no matter what, who'd be there for her and care for her. When Will allowed himself to be more casual around her she thought he might be exactly this friend. She loved him for sticking to her right now, but she wasn't going to answer him. Talking seemed too hard right now. Instead she faced the city again and it's lights which kept her sane.

"Please, talk to me, Helen," he went on, afraid he was gonna lose her again to her own thoughts and grief. But she wouldn't. Yet something had changed. When Will tried to get a glimpse of her eyes and managed it, they didn't seem as distant as before, like he could believe she was not only physically there, but also mentally. He knew she was grieving Ashley's loss. They all were, but she hadn't allowed herself to seek their support. She had cried for a day, but after that she chose to move on, to keep going, to distract herself of her guilt with work. As if continuing their work would give her some sort of redemption for putting her daughter into danger. For not being able to safe her, to protect her from all this in the first place like she thinks she should have. But the love for her work was gone, he could see it in her eyes. Helen had never been the happiest person, but that had come with her age and experience, Will was sure of that. But she had always loved her work and even more so, her daughter. What was left of her when both parts were gone now?

"Look at me... Helen, please. At least look at me." Will realized he wouldn't be able to get her to talk, but he still wouldn't leave her all alone up here. To his surprise she obeyed this time. Her eyes looked so tired, it went through Will's mind, but he tried to shake it off. "I realize you don't want to talk, fine by me. We don't have to, but I'd feel a lot more comfortable if we at least could sit down, Helen. You know I don't like heights, do me the favor, please?"

It almost made Helen want to smile a little at his efforts. She knew he wasn't suggesting to sit down because of him and his fears, but because he didn't want her to do anything stupid. But it sure was sweet of him to at least pretend otherwise. Of course Helen would never jump. She had so much work left and all her duties kept her going, but she couldn't say she didn't imagine it. To finally leave this place and go to wherever was next. If there was something such as a next, but at least she wouldn't feel this pain any more. She looked into Will's eyes. He was so worried for her and scared, she felt like she didn't deserve this from him. Yet it felt strangely comforting to know he cared as much as he did, maybe even understood. So she chose to sit down. When she started to move she just realized how cold she was, how numb her legs felt and her arms. Sitting down was probably a good idea.

Will was tempted to sigh out of relief, but forbid himself to do so. He just quietly followed suit and settled next to her, their feet dangling over the edge. He took several deep breaths to calm his nerves a little. "Thanks," he said quietly. For a moment he wasn't sure he actually said it out loud, but Helen nodded next to him.

How long Will sat next to her that way she didn't know. She had lost track of time entirely by now. She had expected him to leave after a while, to start talking, to try and convince her to leave, but he just stayed silently next to her in the cold, keeping her the kind of company she needed. She let some more moments pass before the right corner of her mouth curled up into a slight smile. "You are quite stubborn, Will," she stated and to her own surprise there was a hint of amusement noticeable.

He was quite startled, to say the least, when Helen was the first to start talking again. When he faced her he immediately detected that half smile and, not for the first time today, he was immensely relieved. "You didn't expect me to leave you alone up here, did you? I had to make sure you're not freezing."

"Nice try, Will." She was sure neither of them would state why he really had been so worried, but that didn't change the fact they both knew why. She playfully bumped her shoulder against his, but then turned more serious again. "I'm okay, Will. You can go now, really," she tried to reassure him.

He tilted his head, seeing right through her. At least as much as you were capable of seeing through Helen Magnus's lies. "No, not gonna happen, He-Magnus," He started to use her first name, but promptly corrected himself.

Helen frowned and appeared to be pondering something. After a short while she replied, "I think I like 'Helen' better." There was a short pause again in which she wasn't sure what to say. She wasn't even sure anymore how she felt. Or well, that wasn't true. She knew how she felt, but she never liked to admit her feelings, not even to herself, much less say them out loud to someone else. So Helen looked at the city lights again wondering how to phrase her next words. "I've always known you were special, Will. I've always known that one day you'd be a great addition to the team." A soft chuckle escaped her lips and she looked down into her lap. "And you've proven to be even better than I ever could have hoped. But there's something I couldn't have predicted..."

He was watching her, hanging on to her lips with every word she said and when she had stopped, it took Will a few seconds to realize it. He pulled his eyes away from her lips and looked up. When he noticed she wasn't going to continue by herself he tried to push her a little. "What is it, Helen?" Will reached out to take Helen's hand. A little hesitantly and unsure he pulled her hand over into his lap and kept it there trying to reassure her that he cared.

"I never imagined I needed you as much as I do, Will." she finally continued. It had taken some time to build up the courage. "I may have needed your abilities for the Abnormals , but by now I realize that you're keeping me grounded and sane. In a way, I guess, you are my anchor. You give me another perspective on everything which I must admit is refreshing. Even someone like me gets stuck on opinions after over a century." Helen didn't manage to look at him. She felt exposed, vulnerable and embarrassed. She almost instantly regretted her words. It had been quite a long time since she had last talked about her feelings like this.

Will, on the other hand, had no idea what to reply to this. He had prepared himself for a lot of confessions, but not this one. Of course he had known Magnus and had gotten along with her quite well, and they complemented each other, but he'd never realized she was so grateful. The way she still hung her head he knew she felt embarrassed and he felt the need to stop that. "Helen..." was all he could force himself to say then his voice cracked and died down. So he just squeezed her hand and wrapped his free arm protectively around her shoulders. Just now he noticed how cold she really was, he could even feel her body shivering under his touch. "You're freezing."

"It's not that bad, actually," she replied stopping him from suggesting to leave the roof. Helen didn't want to get warm again. Up here on the roof in the cold she could pretend everything was fine, that Ashley was out there in town late at night buying some new weapons. Or contacting one of her sources. Or just hanging around on another roof in the city. Magnus closed her eyes trying to force her tears to stay at bay, but she found it harder with every second that passed. Just when her body started to shake from the suppressed sobs she couldn't take it anymore and her tears fell freely now. She buried her head in Will's shoulder continuing to cry there while he held her. Just held her close. He didn't lose a word about it. He neither tried to comfort her nor was he making her feel uncomfortable to cry in his presence. Once again, he just did the right thing.

It took Helen quite a few minutes to recover from the sobs and occasional tremor that continued to shake her body. When she trusted her voice to function properly again she moved a little away from her protégé and wiped her tears away. "Thanks," she hushed, her throat sore from crying. "I think I needed that..."

Will waited for her to go on, but when she wouldn't he felt like it was his duty to say something, but he had no idea what he could possibly say. So he just settled on trying to keep her warm; at least warmer than without his embrace.

It had been two days since Will had found Helen on the roof when he was walking through the halls of the Sanctuary. Those two days had been as quiet as they could be in the reality they lived in and everyone used the opportunity to relax and enjoy themselves.

Everyone but Helen Magnus, of course.

Will hadn't seen much of her. He supposed that she simply wasn't comfortable around company right now; not even him. Especially not him. Giving her some space in her private rooms for her studies had seemed like a good idea to him. Although he had made sure she kept away from the roof.

It surprised him when he realized where exactly his feet had taken him. And then again it didn't surprise him at all. He might not have seen her, but she had been on his mind constantly. Of course his subconsciousness would have taken him to her rooms. He smiled a little to himself. He wasn't sure if it was a smart idea or not, but when doubts entered his mind he had already knocked on her door.

He felt like running away. The thought was ridiculous, he knew. He wasn't a freaked out love-sick nerdy teenager any more, but he still would have liked to run very much. Just when he had nearly convinced himself that she wouldn't open the door, she did.

Her eyes still missed their life, their sparkle, but they weren't empty. Will could have sworn they even lit up a little when she realized it was him. The corners of her mouth curled up a little and now he was sure the smile reached her eyes even though she seemed a little nervous.

Will smiled back at her, trying to calm her nerves. It seemed to work.

Helen stepped aside, opening the door a little wider. The invitation was clear and Will didn't hesitate to accept it. He didn't want her to think he might feel awkward around her now that he had seen her show weakness. But he didn't think of it as weak to show emotions. To show them, to feel them, not to deny them could sometimes even heal a person. He hoped she at least would get a little better.

Wordlessly they walked over to her couch; the flames in the fireplace licking at the wood having a calming effect on both of them.

Will was a little shocked when she sat downdirectly next to him. Her thigh touching his, her hip touch his, her shoulder touching his. But his shock faded as fast as it came and his muscles relaxed instantly. He turned his head to look at her only to discover that she was staring at her lap.

If Will didn't know better he would say she was unsure of herself.

Now he turned his entire body a little more into hers, reached out and lifted her chin softly forcing her to look into his eyes. He smiled reassuringly at her again and Helen smiled back.

Good.

He leaned closer, their noses almost touching. When he closed the gap between them, his lips chastely touching hers, the kiss could have meant nothing. A friend kissing another for comfort. But when Will moved away again Helen stopped him.

Helen looked into his eyes and now it was she who initiated the kiss.

This one meant everything.

Reviews would be lovely :)


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